Saint Louis, Seriously?

Incompatibilities

2011-03-11T22:54:00.000-06:00

I'm just not sure that someone with poor self esteem will ever be compatible with someone with an overinflated self-esteem or self-worth. The impacts of telling someone they are sucking the life out of you with their negativity and constant bitching and adding to that the fact that you think they should work on losing weight and working out every day... well, those impacts are huge when your self esteem is fragile. Honestly, I don't think my friends think I'm constantly bitching and that I'm an energy vampire; but maybe they're not being honest with me. I'm also not sure if it hurt worse to hear the above things about me or to hear that sometimes he wants to do stuff without me because he just wants to be without me and doesn't want to offer an explanation of why. Unless I'm just hanging out with girlfriends, he's always invited along and on those rare occasions when he isn't invited I make it clear why. I guess it hurt to hear that I make him crazy instead of hearing he's crazy about me like I am about him. I just feel crushed and like I want to sink in to a puddle on the floor. And he'll have no idea why what he said hurt my feelings - he'll say, "I was just sharing. If you tell me that you're upset then I won't want to share anymore."

I'm tired of never being good enough for anyone. I just wish there was someone out there who loved me for me - but it hasn't happened in the 25 years I've been dating so I'm not holding my breath.

Winter musings

2011-01-21T10:03:00.000-06:00

I have come to the realization that owning a TransAm somewhere that is snows regularly may not be a smart decision. I bought my car when I lived in Charleston, SC - it doesn't ever really snow there. (When it snows a leeetle bit they shut down the bridges and roads anyway.) I might be a slow learner because it's taken me 4 winters to realize this. I think I'm just tired of being stuck at home when it snows - probably the fact that I need new back tires so the sliding is extra special has helped bring this decision on.

On the way to work this morning, while driving on the lovely dry highway, I passed a tow truck. It was a nice tow truck. It was kind of a pretty brown color with the name of the company written in a script on the side. It made me wonder if you're better off being towed by a company that has nice trucks or one that has old trucks. Does the former mean that they charge more or just that they take care of their shit? Does the latter mean that they're a bargain or that they're cheap bastards?

The City of St. Louis is notorious for not cleaning their streets off well. My boyfriend's street isn't ever really plowed and eventually the snow just gets kind of packed down. Luckily the cross street is sort of plowed - they don't plow down to the pavement or anywhere near it but they knock the high spots off the snow. However, the worst part of my drive in this morning was the parking garage. It's owned by the city as well. Now, I'm used to the street leading to the parking garage not being plowed. It was very snow packed this morning and I was grateful I didn't slide into the gate. The "fun" part was that they hadn't salted inside the garage either. In fact, it looked like they might be understaffed because there wasn't anyone in the office - there was just the lone ticket taker at the exit. I slid around every corner and had to put it in low to climb every ramp. It was just like ice skating in a 4000# plus hunk of steel.

Lastly, I wore my old merrell boots in this morning. With the Superfeet insoles, they're pretty warm and dry. However, I need to remember that the shoes I carry into work will be really cold when I get here. Wow!

Divorce

2010-12-03T17:45:00.000-06:00

It's odd how divorce seems to touch everyone you know at some point. When I got divorced, I was young - in my early 20's. No-one I knew was divorced yet and I recognized that I married someone who just wasn't the right one for me. We met in college and we broke up once only to reunite two years later. I worked and went to school and was involved in organizations. He was in a fraternity and heavily involved in rugby. In fact, I spent a lot of weekends taking pictures like these:

I loved taking pictures and he loved playing rugby. When we graduated though, I was ready to move on from our college life and play house. I wanted to do stuff together and we both wanted a house so we bought a house that needed work. After all, we were both engineers....right?

He still wanted to play rugby every weekend so not a lot got done around the house. He didn't have much to offer me as far as affection or common interests

But I digress....

One of my good friends from highschool who I reconnected with when I moved back here emailed me today to tell me her parents are getting divorced. Let me rephrase that: Her parents, who have been married 45 years and who really don't have much in the way of money or income, are getting divorced. He met some woman online (who is also married, although her husband is dying of cancer so that's better) (NOT) and when my friend asked what he wanted for his upcoming birthday - she took her mom to Europe - he said he wanted to go to Vegas...alone. Turns out he was hooking up with this woman and now she's moving here so they can live together.

I never thought they'd get divorced and I'll admit I sat at my desk with my mouth hanging open for a good bit. Her mom has no money and not much income and their current house is in the hood so it's not a source of income. Her dad is being a total shit. But ya know... I'll bet my ex's family probably thought that about me. They probably still do. I guess my brother was right when he said there are two sides to every story when mom told him about my divorce. It just seems like sometimes, one side is a little harder to understand.

Winter is close

2010-11-24T16:38:00.000-06:00

The other day I posted a status update on Facebook that said something like, "You know winter is around the corner when you see the Coasties all in their float coats." All my friends from the coast got it, but none of my midwestern friends did. I find that odd since on the southeast coast you only see float coats when it's really cold. Here's what I'm talking about:

They're very warm if you fall in the water in the winter, which is why you start to see them around here as soon as temps drop. I work in the same building as the US Coast Guard (Coasties) so I see them coming and going in the morning when they're headed out to the river. You usually just see them in their blue outfits, so it's pretty obvious if they have the orange coats on. They actually work as fairly warm winter coats too, although they're bulky and stiff.

Is there a pill for that?

2010-11-19T17:19:00.000-06:00

So Blogher is doing this feel good series about owning your own beauty. Shouldn't reading these stories make me feel uplifted and better about myself? Inspiring is the goal, I'm pretty sure. However, they always make me tear up and feel sad. I want to be that girl who has learned to love herself. The one who has even learned to like herself would be a good start.

Yes, I know I'm a good person. I mean I get told that a lot and it's always for stuff I, well.... for stuff I just do. Like cooking extra food so my 81 year old mom doesn't have to cook every night for my picky, cranky 87 year old dad. Like sharing extra biscuits with the older lady down the row of condos, like helping a lady in Target get something unwieldy into her car. But I feel like that's just being a good neighbor to my fellow humans. I mean, geez, who doesn't live their life trying to make other people's lives pleasant?

So why do I hate myself? You know, I don't really understand it myself. If you named one thing you liked about me, I could tell you at least two things about that feature or trait that I dislike. I'm a pro at picking myself apart. I honestly hate myself for hating myself. I try so hard to look put together and made up every day, but you can't tell me I'm pretty and have me
believe it.

Of course, part of that could be my history of making bad choices in who I date.

I'm sure they all had their own reasons, but a lot of the guys I date just aren't interested in a physical relationship. Maybe some counselor could tell me that it's who I draw in or that I shut them out; but my current boyfriend and I have a pretty good physical relationship. Not as good as we did, but it's frequent enough.

I'm just tired of really, truly disliking myself. I just don't know where the door to the other side is. Why is there not a pill for this?

What Would Jesus Post

2010-10-21T15:28:00.000-05:00

Okay, here's the deal. I'm sure God can see your facebook status post about blah, blah, blah if you believe Jesus is Lord you'll repost this. I'm just not sure he gives a rat's ass. I also am pretty sure this doesn't make you a good Christian, a better Christian than me or anything other than a lemming.

Yes, I'm Christian but I try my hardest to be one by living a good life and doing good to others. I don't try to sell you God at the door.

It's almost enough to make me quit facebook - almost.

The end of summer

2010-08-27T11:17:00.000-05:00

I can't believe summer is almost over. It's been a brutally hot one for most of the US and I'm glad to have some cool mornings finally here. Here's a short highlight reel of my summer:

I went in the field (meaning I spent time out of the office visiting various sites for applications or violation reports) and found out there's a Taco John's in Marion, IL.

If you've never had Taco Johns you're really missing out. I hadn't had any since 1998 when I left Iowa.

A coworker of mine got their Super Nachos which were made with their Potato Oles rather than chips. It's like tater tots and Nachos all mixed up.

I took my mom to get cataract surgery. (My niece calls this photo Pirate Grandma)

She was really worried about the surgery. I took this photo of her in the drive through of Taco Bell on the way home from the surgery center. We've always bonded over Taco Bell.

Now that she's had the surgery she actually is excited to get the other eye done. Everything is brighter and more clear - her vision is 20/20 in that eye. She never wore glasses until she had surgery for a cancerous tumor in 1979; and I'm excited for her to not wear glasses anymore.

I got my dog a puppy cut:

Oscar has long hair normally:

So this cut was a big deal for all of us. My boyfriend who has a dog allergy was especially excited about it it really made him look like a puppy again. But I'm definitely growing it out for the winter; I kind of miss my fluffy little boy.

I got to go to Lambert's Cafe for the first time. My co-workers are always raving about this place and I have to admit it was pretty good.

Of course watching them throw the piping hot rolls was interesting but honestly it was the food that made me appreciate it. It was really good. It was too much food with all the extra sides they call "pass arounds" like fried potatoes and tomato and macaroni. But definitely worth the trip if I'm close again.

The reason I was close is that I had a training class in Memphis. It was really unbelievably hot in Memphis, so hot even the squirrels were looking for relief:

We couldn't believe it when we were walking back from lunch and saw this squirrel stretched out on the sidewalk. But everything was just blazing hot and this stretch of sidewalk was under an awning on the north side of the building so it probably was the coolest spot in the city.

She let us get pretty close and just kept a wary eye on us while she cooled her belly on the pavement. I was kind of jealous.

Geographically challenged.

2010-07-12T23:25:00.000-05:00

I admit it; before I moved to the East Coast I didn't really know where all the states were. I knew South Carolina was in The South but I didn't know it was on the coast. It's the same way that my coastal friends think of the midwest - or the flyover states if they're weren't playing nice. They don't know exactly which states are which, but they know the general area. Tonight I told a lady at the gym that I was headed to Kentucky Lake for vacation. She asked where that was. I replied "Kentucky, south of Paducah." She gave me a blank stare and asked if it was close. Seriously? You don't know where Paducah is? She's excused - kind of - because she grew up on the east coast and so Kentucky is just another flyover state.

PS, I was nice to her and explained it was a little over three hours and was actually created by damming up the Tennessee river and was quite pretty. The lake at least, I've never been to Paducah.

PPS Kentucky lake is in a dry county so we have to bring all our booze and beer with us. It's kind of surprising we haven't been to Paducah since they have bars. Clearly we're well planned drunks!

Competitive fireworking

2010-07-06T17:25:00.000-05:00

So I grew up in North County where we didn't have legal fireworks. But I've found that working in a city is very different from living there as a kid. The lunch table and after lunch discussion today was about fireworks. Not about what city has better ones - no. The discussion was Illinoisians talking about how dangerous fireworks are and who in their right mind would shoot them off or spend money for an hour long "show" of big fireworks. The opposing view was from people who live in Missouri but outside St. Louis, talking about how awesome fireworks are and how lame it is to go to public shows.

Having done both, I see both points. I haven't lived somewhere before where there's such a strong division between fireworks factions. Each group wanted to prove themselves right - and really was into their side of the arguement.

Seriously, is that all there is to talk about after a three day weekend? Boring.....

Fair St. Louis

2010-07-02T10:52:00.000-05:00

Fourth of July always holds good memories for me. When I was a little girl, my parents and I would have sparklers and snakes and smoke bombs in the back yard until it got dark. Then our back yard neighbors would have real fireworks; he was the chief of police so no-one came to his house to enforce the fireworks ban from the county. We lived north of the city on the riverbluffs and I can still remember hearing the fireworks downtown start and my parents going with me up to the top of the hill where the quarry was so we could see the fireworks. We'd see the big flash and then moments later hear the bang; it's about 8 miles as the crow flies.

When I got old enough to drive I'd go with girlfriends - or sometime boyfriends down to see the VP fair. I can remember parking in some sketchy alley north of laclede's landing and walking down to see the fair. It was always so hot and no-one carried water bottles back then - I don't know how I didn't pass out. Then we'd sit down on the cobblestones on the riverside of Lenor K. Sullivan and you could feel the booms of the fireworks. They'd hit you right in the chest with percussive force. If the wind was wrong, you sometimes got hot embers too - wow!

I got to see fireworks from three different municipalities at a time when I lived in Des Moines. We'd sit on a hill above a local grocery store and watch for the fireworks. We got a little wet one year when the sprinklers went off!

In Charleston, I could see the Isle of Palms ones if I walked out to the salt marsh behind my apartments. The best year was the year my boyfriend borrowed a boat from the floating plant at the dredge and we watched fireworks on the harbor. We got to see several different shows before we brought the skiff back. Ours wasn't a fancy boat, but we didn't have to wait at the boat ramp to take it out and then wash it off before bed. Tres convenient!

I think it's interesting that the VP fair is now Fair St. Louis. I try to remember to call it that; but it's still the VP fair in my heart. With all the mystery of the Veiled Prophet from Khorassan and the pretty young ladies that I wanted to - but couldn't ever - be. This year I'm going to a friend's brother's house in St. Charles to watch fireworks that they've choreographed to music. It won't be the same as turning on KMOX while standing on the top of the quarry; but it'll be fun. Even if there's not an arch and I'm not in my nightie....

Slow learner equals bad hair

2010-06-09T15:22:00.003-05:00

So shortly after I moved to St. Louis from the East Coast I was on the hunt for a stylist. I wanted someone who knew what to do with fine hair and who could do dimensional color. I followed a friends recommendation - a friend who did not have hair anything like mine but the only friend I had here so far - and went to her stylist. I went in before my cut was too grown out so she could get a good idea of where I was. This is where I was (more or less):

That picture was taken after I'd had a few beers and also after I'd had my share of oysters. My hair was about that length but I'd added more highlights for summer.

The second time I went to her I came home with this:

Nope, my hair is not tucked behind my ear. It's also all one color; she assured me that I had enough highlights in my hair that it would look great with one color processing. As you can see I was unhappy.... Having it fixed is one of my mom's favorite stories since she went with me to a local salon that Saturday. The girl's face was pricless as she kept combing through my hair trying to figure out a solution. My mom dissolved in fits of giggles until I finally - through tears said, "What? What is so funny!!!" The girl very quietly said, "There's kind of a hole that forms every time I comb through it."

So you'd think that I would be very careful of where I got my hair cut, right? Well, after a couple more stylist switches I found a great girl, Katie, who cuts my hair. She doesn't have fine hair but she seems to "get it" and my color is always right on. Last fall, after growing my hair out for the last few years I went shorter as evidenced here:

I loved the shorter hair and have rocked it ever since. I'm finally dating a guy who doesn't mind short hair, actually he likes it, and since I turned 40 I decided to stick with shorter hair. Long hair when your hair is fine is such a pain in the butt!

But I decided after growing out the layers a bit that I wanted not shorter but more piecey. But that didn't work so well as my layers kept flipping up because my fine hair has cowlicks. So I went to a local quick cuts place and had (let's call her Kasey)cut it a little shorter to help with the flippiness. I knew Katie was so busy because she is going back to school and swamped; so it was an easy solution. Well, I liked the cut a lot so when my color grew out, I decided to cheat on my stylist with Kasey. I went in for just a few shorter pieces around my face and some nice caramelly highlights; just a few. I also told her my boyfriend had requested I go more brown which I was okay with since I'd been dying my hair pretty bright red lately. So her first try at the cut left me with a (one) very definite layer about halfway between my crown and the ends of my hair. Like a shelf all along my hair. So I pointed that out and asked for it to be fixed. She said she had to add more layers, and proceeded to cut all over my hair.

Here are the results (Please make sure you're sitting down)

Yeah, this is the best I can do without pulling the front back ala Snookie or running a french twists down both sides along the hairline. I didn't flat iron it this morning, but even that doesn't help much. I've put smoothing serum and hairspray in it in an attempt to help and....

Well, and it's not helping. You should see it after it's wet if I can't style it. It's also really blonde on top. White blonde and chunky.

Once again, I have a bad haircut. I'm not sure this can be saved; but I guess my only option is to call my stylist, admit my infidelity and plead for help. Send good thoughts or hats!

Service Disservice

2010-05-19T16:45:00.000-05:00

So I got home yesterday to discover that the A/C service hadn't apparently been done. Now, I wasn't sure what they were doing so I had removed the filter and figured when I came home to find a filter that was proof they'd been there. There was no filter and the outside unit didn't look like it had been cleaned either. I dutifully took my pooch to Tower Grove park with me; where he peed on a variety of trees and thankfully didn't pee on anyone's stuff. He got a lot of love and attention from bystanders just like any small fluffy dog gets attention. It was interesting that he recognized my boyfriend from last summer and totally considered him to be "one of his people group" and whined every time he walked our way. Good thing we're on good terms!

This morning when I got to work I had a voicemail on my cell phone. (I don't get phone service in the elevator and it's not uncommon for me to get off the elevator to discover I have voicemail) It was the HVAC guy telling me that he'd be at my house this morning so could I lock up my dog. He called at 8:30 in the morning....Seriously? I called him back to notify him that I expected him yesterday and was already at work. He said he didn't get to it yesterday but it was no big deal, he could just come tomorrow. How does he get to decide if it's a big deal?

Since when do you just inconvenience people like that? I've never had a service person be that disrespectful. Geez! I told him to come in the morning and I'd put my dog in the bedroom when I left for work. I'm headed to a doctor's appointment with my dad in the afternoon so I'll swing by the place and let Oscar out of doggy jail. It means I have to come to work a little early; but I'm not putting him in the bedroom all day again.

It was actually kind of funny when I got home; he bolted from the room into the living room the moment I opened the door. Getting him to go back in there without phsically carrying him in the room should be interesting tomorrow morning.

The Gilded Dog Cage

2010-05-18T17:02:00.000-05:00

My landlord called me yesterday afternoon and left me a message that he would be sending out maintenance to do A/C service today. He was notifying me because I have a dog.

Thus:

Taken on a rainy Saturday this month when I caught him napping under my throw on the couch. He wasn't sure why I was waking him up; but I suspect he hoped it was to go out.

So I had to shut him into a bedroom all day. Clearly, as illustrated above, he prefers to spend the day on my couch. Actually, I have no idea what he does when I'm gone. I know that there are toys in different spots than when I left and I've heard from some of my friends who have dogs that he is in the window a lot looking out. We think he's part Tibetian Spaniel, and apparently sitting on a lofty perch watching the world outside is a common trait to those dogs. I had to choose what room to shut him in. I don't go in my spare bedroom much, even though that's where my yarn is stored and I do have a desk with a desktop computer in there. But I really only go in my bedroom to sleep and change clothes.

I chose the spare bedroom because he can get up on the bed and see out to the front (where he normally looks out) and to the side where there is a bench and some grass. I feel bad, although I remember a lot of times when I had to kennel my previous dog, Rex, and he spent most of the day in a much smaller space.

I do find that St. Louis is a pretty dog friendly town. Not as much as other places I've lived; but most people on the west side where I live seem to like and/or have dogs. I found it interesting when I was dating a guy from South county that people down there didn't seem to like dogs and were amused that I walked my dog even though my guy had a yard.

Tonight is softball in Tower Grove park and I plan on taking my dog with me. I figure that the smells and sights should make up for locking him in a room all day, no?

Sign of the times

2010-05-17T22:45:00.000-05:00

Sometime this morning a really large piece of equipment appeared by our freight elevators at work. Whatever it is; it's in a big grey metal frame and we (me and a couple other engineers) decided it's some type of chiller for the computer room.

After lunch, I headed into the kitchen and noticed a guy sitting on the floor reading something which I assumed were instructions.

When I headed into the hallway a little later I noticed a sticker had been placed on both visible sides.

I have a thing for industrial signage....

I have no idea what I'd do with it but I want this sticker so bad. Of course, it would have been bad to take it as I'm sure the sticker is crucial when they're loading the large (think 4 industrial refrigerators side by side) equipment onto something. The stickers weren't in the physical center of the sides; so even removing them to photocopy them might have been bad if I didn't get them replaced correctly. I'm not sure what they're going to do with it because I don't think it'll fit in the freight elevator. I guess if I come in tomorrow and it's gone I'll know the little GSA gnomes carried it off.

Boys of summer...and spring and winter and fall....

2010-05-15T11:10:00.000-05:00

I realized after my last post that I've not posted a picture of myself with makeup.

So I went searching around on my home computer - because I keep most of my photos on my work computer where I have better photo software - and found one from last spring.

That was my boyfriend at the time; he was a nice guy but really... well, really bland for lack of a better term. He later admitted to me that he didn't have much experience with dating (at age 40!).

He had horrible taste in clothes, furniture and in general. And he had no idea! I have no idea how you tell someone who just bought new furniture that it's ugly and uncomfortable. But the matching couch and loveseat - the reclined of course - looked like bad brown vinyl even though he swore that he paid a lot for nice leather. He also dressed really weird, wearing acid washed old jeans and a moonrise t-shirt or plain collared shirts. He was willing to take me to the symphony and the muny - in fact when I broke up with him I found out he'd bought season tickets to both for us....oops. He was also not so good in bed. I mean he wanted to learn; but I'm done with teaching. I've "trained" my share of guys, thanks.

As my niece said, vanilla is nice but I need a little more spumoni. He was willing to do stuff I liked; but seemed to have no passion to do anything other than take photos. He didn't follow the news, he didn't watch tv; he spent all his free time editing photos or going to the botanical garden and taking photos of flowers. He was crushed when I told him I was breaking up with him; and the guy I dated next turned out to be a big loser.

He wasn't bland; but he was laid off from his local freight delivery job and so I bought dinners and alcohol; unless I wanted to drink MGD from a tallboy can. But he was fun....at least until I realized that we'd never go to the muny or the symphony or probably even shakespeare in the park. Oh, but surely you could trade "favors" for those things, you say. Nope, he wasn't really interested. He disliked being in a relationship - calling to make plans for the next day was smothering - and he really wasn't into sex.

So hopefully, I've found a happy middle ground now. This guy doesn't like to go out to eat; but can be coaxed into it. He has a variety of hobbies and loves to do spur of the moment things; but appreciates when we make tentative plans so we don't miss out on stuff. I don't want to jinx it; but I will say he makes me happy. I guess that's all we really want, huh?

Makeup-free

2010-05-14T17:29:00.000-05:00

I was just in the restroom talking to one of my co-workers about makeup and I came up stairs and found this: Bloggers without Makeup Day where bloggers are posting photos of themselves on their blogs or on twitter without makeup. I'm up for it so I've rummaged around and found the photo here from 2008 I think.

It was funny because we were talking about how we'll wear makeup out whether it's with our parents or our significant others; but we don't always wear makeup at work. I fessed up to her that I pretty much always wear at least mascara out of the house because mine are so fine. I even keep a small mascara in my purse in case, I sweat it off when I'm outside working. In fact, I had a hard time finding a picture of me without it. The only reason this one exists is because I had a bad haircut and spent too much time that morning trying to fix it; I finally resorted to tucking it behind my ears.

I love my current chin length bob and I also love the fact that in the last two years my desk has a much larger pile on it. Ah, that's government life!

Sucky sucky

2010-05-09T10:23:00.000-05:00

It's kind of funny that I found myself contemplating vacuum cleaners on Mother's Day. As a child, I didn't have chores to do. On the weekends, I'd help mom with the dusting or the laundry; in the spring I'd help with washing windows. I really didn't have any regular chores though.

The one chore I really didn't mind was vacuuming. It was the one chore my mom really hated though. Growing up we had a really heavy old Hoover with a metal head and a vinyl bag. OMG, that thing was like dragging a body around the living room. (We had hardwood floors in the other rooms) (Actually, there's hardwood in the living room too, but my mom has a carpet in there that covers the whole room except for about a foot around the edges)

When I moved out on my own, I had a vacuum we bought at a garage sale. It was a panasonic and worked pretty well. It actually came with me for 15 years as I moved around. I took it apart several times and cleaned dog hair out of it. (I had a Sheltie so there was a lot of long hair. A lot.) When I moved back to St. Louis of course the vacuum came too. Unfortunately, it had quit working about two weeks before I moved. I borrowed the apartment's vacuum to clean my carpets when I left. So my dad took my vacuum to a repair shop and had it repaired. It worked for about a year and then quit again.

In the meantime, mom had bought herself a lighter weight vacuum. A dirt devil that cleans well and is a lot lighter for her to haul around. So mom and I went in search of a new vacuum. Our first stop was Linens and Things - which was going out of business. I ended up with a Bissell Healthy Home - mainly because I'm a sucker for advertising. I have to say though, it's been awesome. That thing really can suck my carpets clean - I now have a spaniel mix who has long hair. I heard that it had the same technology as a Dyson because Dyson's patent ran out and now others can use it.

What I was thinking about this morning was the fact that almost all the boys I've dated over the years have an old Rainbow or Kirby that weighs a ton and that they swear is the best machine ever. Yet they all have kind of nasty carpets. Maybe they're just bad at cleaning but I suspect that those old vacuums just aren't that good compared to today's technology.

I get that both of these claim to be able to do all kinds of things other than vacuum. But I'm guessing that cleaning tile in the bathroom is quicker and easier with a scrub brush and some bleach than with a giant metal machine that you have to haul in there. And cleaning the kitchen floor? It probably gets cleaner with a scrub brush too. I love my Swiffer; but it doesn't get floors really clean. I once cleaned a boyfriend's floor with a scrub brush after he'd spilled some turkey brining solution and wet swiffered it clean. It was so sticky that I got out the scrub brush and bucket. That water was so dirty, I've not used my swiffer wet since then.

I'm not a clean freak; but if I'm putting the effort into cleaning it should be worth it. Who wants to spend their free time cleaning? No-one.

Mean Girls

2010-05-03T17:40:00.000-05:00

Except in my office, it's not the girls; it's mostly the boys who are mean. We have a lunch table where my group always eats together. It's one of the first things I learned about working here; everyone eats at the table together. For the first couple years I worked here, I didn't eat with the group much because I went to lunch with my boyfriend. But something I've noticed about eating at the table is that there's a core group of "Cool Kids" that make fun of people not at the table. Of course, like most groups they also make fun of members in the group that aren't there that day.

Last week, one guy wasn't there and I sat down with my lunch right in the middle of the group going off about how odd he was. Granted, the guy is a bit of an odd duck. He totally over-prepares for any outing; so much so that he almost sank his little flat boat last time he went fishing. But he's very smart and there's something to be said for overpreparing when you'll be outside. So the talk eventually ended with one of the guys saying that this guy is a loser. Not a nerd or a dork - "He's a loser" is what the guy said.

I know they talk about me when I'm not here; I don't want to know what they say. We're a bunch of science nerds; we're not fashionistas or trend-whores.... The guy who made the proclaimation is probably 125# soaking wet and has bad hair that has too much gel and dresses in plaid shirt, jeans and an outsized (at least for the city) belt buckle every day. He's no great catch! So I piped up and said, "That's kinda mean." Honestly, I couldn't have been more spineless because I didn't say it loud; but I'm far from being in the in-crowd. Then, when I got a couple rounds of "Well, he is." from skinny boy I said it was harsh. No-one else said anything more.

Geez, you'd think I work at a highschool with a bunch of teenagers. Most of my co-workers are in their late 20s and early 30s; and being that they were in band and all sciency you'd think they have a little more sympathy.

Let's start at the very beginning

2010-04-30T15:26:00.000-05:00

I've been toying with starting a blog for a couple-three years now. I still don't know that I have important things to add to teh interwebs; but I find myself wishing for an outlet for some of my thoughts. Some of those thoughts just can't go on fb or be emailed to others; so I thought I'd put them here....You know... out on the internet where no-one will see them.... hahahaha....

I've been reading blogs pretty consistently since I did an overnight stint at work back in 2005. I don't have children or a fancy lifestyle. I probably should have started this years ago when I had some interesting stories to tell about dating or what a friend of mine calls the single-girl meal plan. I hope those days are over - wow, how I hope they are.