The best of times and the worst of times

So I closed on my house and made frantic time to get everything painted and my stuff moved in. Then the Tuesday after that my mom called and said dad had fallen in the night and he wasn't well. He passed away that Thursday afternoon. I don't really have much to say about it now other than it's hard as a lifelong daddy's girl to lose your dad. He was the one person I always knew was on my side....always.

We buried him in the National cemetery this past Tuesday and I'm helping mom the best I can to process stuff and go through paperwork without making her feel like a frail old lady; because she's not. I wrote most of his obituary and I know I'm not processing this yet; but I just can't fathom life without that 89 year old man in my life. Geez, what suckitude.

Second verse (hopefully not) same as the first

So....


Wednesday morning I frantically called several banks. I also had to tell my broker and the seller. Well, the seller wasn't happy but I understand that - I was pretty upset too!  It had been almost 7 weeks since BoA started the loan process and they're just now telling me they can't loan me money?

My broker got me a deal with a local bank. They could do a three year balloon type of loan and close in 10 days. This would make the seller happy and was kind of scary for me. But I'd have the house and I'd have time to get a conventional loan.

The seller gave me the name of a guy who did a friend's loan or their loan.... I wasn't really paying 100% attention since I was feeling kind of numb and not in my body and cried at the drop of a hat. I called that dude and he called me on the way home. I told him the whole sordid tale and said I wanted to know if they could loan me the money or not before I went through another seven week process. He said he'd get some basic information from me and it wouldn't take seven weeks. He could close in three weeks - tops.

So, it looks like I have another loan. Heartland Premier sent me all the paperwork today. The interest rate is .125% higher but they can close in 10 days. I'm not counting my chickens before they become loan commitments though. I'll check back with them on Tuesday morning and see if they have the appraisal scheduled and if I can get a loan committment letter from them. Because a verbal yes clearly doesn't mean dick in the banking world.

Yeah, it sucks that I have to pay for another appraisal. But I'll have the house early enough to do some painting before the movers come on the 8th. And...AND... I'll have a house.

Oh, the worst part? The loan processing POS at BoA couldn't even call me to tell me that they denied my loan. His boss called to tell me and even she kind of beat around the bush. Seriously, grow a fucking pair! Seven weeks of bullshit and you can't even tell me it's a no? How did they get to be "too big to fail" if they are such fuck-ups? He asked for the same information multiple times and apparently it takes 5 weeks for them to even open up the file. 

Bank of America, you denied my loan and I'm pissed; but I'm more pissed that your employees don't have enough professionalism to tell me or enough timely work practices to not leave me hanging on so long. I used to defend you to people, now I'm on the other side. I have no idea how you got so big, but if success in the banking industry is that easy, sign me up!

Dreams

I started a diet AGAIN on Monday. I really have to lose weight. My knees and feet hurt if I walk too much especially on stairs and I'm hopefully moving in a month to a house with a basement and an attic. I, of course, feel like I'm starving. Monday wasn't bad; but by yesterday I felt absolutely ravenous. I caved and ate some good brie and crackers after dinner so I didn't go to bed hungry.

Now, before you say I shouldn't starve myself, know that I'm not. I'm doing Weight Watchers, for the umpteenth time in my life. Honestly, the only time that worked was the first time on the old exchange plan... back in 1990. This points thing is for the birds. I'm always hungry, just like I was a year ago when I tried it. I thought about doing the non-tracking thing but there is so little wiggle room on that; I just don't see it working. Too many things you just can't have - and I don't do well with can'ts.

I'm sure next week I won't be as starving. I just keep reminding myself of how I looked in a picture taken at my friend's going away party. My arms! They were huge! Honestly trying to tell yourself, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." is a load of crap. I can think of a lot of things that taste better. Triple Creme Brie, Jilly's Chocolate Thunder cupcakes, hard salami on brown bread with butter, homemade preserves on sourdough toast.... the list is pretty long. Don't get me wrong; the summer that I could wear a bikini in college was pretty sweet. But a picture is worth a thousand words and OMG I looked like a toad squatting in the corner at the bar. Sure, a toad in a cute top with killer jewelry - but still.

The fact that I feel absolutely ravenous even using all my points and all my extra points and walking the dog an extra time to earn extra points.... well, that probably means I've been eating too much food. This spring I tried to count calories. It's not as hard as it sounds with a smartphone around. I didn't feel starving as much; but I did realize that it wasn't working. I was always over my calorie count for the day because counting calories doesn't really encourage you to snack or eat healthy.

Oh, the post title? I've been having weird, vivid dreams the last couple nights. Almost nightmares. Last night - the last one I remember - I had one where I was watching some teenaged boys picking on a kid. The way they did it was futuristic; and disturbing. I noticed that several of them had their hair rolled from side to side on top of their head with a soda bottle in it - kind of like a cross between a sideways ducktail and the curlers made out of orange juice cans. Then I looked down and they were holding down a boy with an elizabethan collar for dogs around his neck and they were pouring soda into a tube stuck into the top of his skull. It looked like the straw that is in all the hospital cups that everyone seems to have now, but a lot bigger around. The soda was coming out of his.... his face I guess probably his nose and eyes. And when they were done his whole head was submerged. They let him pick his face up out of the collar to breathe for a moment but then back under he went.

Weird.

I'm pretty sure the lack of calories has something to do with this. I just hope the dreams abate when the hunger does. They're disturbing!